


That's Right, I'm a Gay Robot

by orangeyskies



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-05
Updated: 2013-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-17 18:33:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/870689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangeyskies/pseuds/orangeyskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caboose tells (and kind of reenacts with) Church a special moment he had with Donut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Right, I'm a Gay Robot

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place right before the very end of Season 10.

"Church! Church!" Caboose called. "I am sad, Church."

"What's wrong, little buddy?" Upon hearing that Caboose was sad, Church actually paused instead of running away to escape the nonstop noise that was Caboose.

"Tucker told me that he's better than me at ladies! And that is not true. Because one time, I kissed the pink soldier on the red team! The one with the kinda deep voice."

"That was Donut!" Church yelled, and sighed into his glove.

"Exactly. I am great with ladies."

"For the love of god, Caboose."

"Hey, what's happening over here?" Tucker asked, running up to Church and Caboose. "I heard Church yelling, not like that's anything new."

"Caboose kissed Donut," Church said flatly.

"Bow chicka wow- what?"

"Yeah."

"I'm leaving this mess, I'll let you deal with this one, Church."

"No-"

"You're the leader of this team."

"Well, you're the head of an alien- Tucker get back here!"

But Tucker didn't come back, and Church was left standing in front of Caboose. Caboose seemed, as usual, oblivious to any and all bits of reality around him.

"Tell me what exactly happened between you and Donut."

"Weeellll-"

"Oh, god, another Caboose story," Tucker called from behind a nearby rock.

"Tucker, what the fuck!" Church yelled.

"Sorry, couldn't resist seeing how this would go down- bow chicka-"

"Tucker, I swear I'm going to kill you with your own goddamn sword! Now shut the fuck up!"

"Tucker, can I go now?"

"No, Wash, you have to stay for this!"

"Wash is there, too?" Church asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Wash said. "I don't even understand this place or you guys anymore. Not that I ever did."

"You have more of a fucking clue than I do!"

Church apologized to Caboose, although he appeared unfazed by Church's rage.

"Anyways- I was walking around one day in the base without my helmet on because I lit it on fire and you took it away. And then I saw someone with pink armor on."

"What the hell was Donut doing in the base?" Church asked.

"Donut said blue paint was needed for a rainbow that was being painted in one of the red base rooms."

"But how!"

"And then I used one of Tucker's pick-up lines."

"Fuck yeah!" Tucker called out.

"No, fuck you!" Church called back. He groaned for a good 10 seconds. 

"And then," Caboose continued, "The pink one asked me if I was lonely all by myself and if I wanted a kiss, and I said yes. So we leaned in, and Donut took the pink helmet off, and we kissed, like this-" 

Caboose smashed his helmet into Church's.

"God. Fucking. Damn it. Caboose!"

"No, Donut was nicer than that."

"Did you see any of Donut's face?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Caboose, Donut is a guy."

"Yeah I know. It's not as bad as when Simmons and Grif-"

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS CANYON"

~


End file.
